Chaperoning for Hope

Photo courtesy of Maddie Millis
Kevin Thibodeau performed
in last year’s Concert of Hope and
will perform again this year
at Milford High School, 2380 South Milford Road.

Friday night is quickly approaching, and what with my uber-active social life, I will be hanging out with a bunch of teenagers tonight — as their chaperon. It's all for a cause.

Now, I have chaperoned a high school event only once before, and I can tell you that the experience has left a harrowing imprint on my mind.

(Cue some scary score from a psychological thriller.)

A few years back, my husband was a first-year teacher. I was about to graduate from college. We were chaperoning prom. You know, the girls get all glammed up in dresses with slits that run navel-high, and the boys are hoping to get lucky. After an awkward dinner where I spent most of the time talking to an engineer — because teachers tend to be the most cliquish group I've ever been among — the dancing started.

Now, for most of you who have been removed from the high school experience for a decade or two, you may think dances resemble a group of choreographed line dances perpetuated by teen dramas. You would be wrong. It more closely resembles the club scene, with skirts raised in the air and thighs grazing thighs.

It was like watching kiddie porn. But you couldn't dare break up this kind of mass sexual tension. Instead, we all shut the door, and went into the lobby and let them copulate. OK, I exaggerate. It wasn't that bad. But a few of us did head outside to escape the blaring music. So as not to pick on one high school, I think this is indicative of how many teenagers dance on the "best night of their lives."

But I expect tonight's event to be a bit different, because I'll be chaperoning a benefit concert that's open to the public as well as students. So, I'm not really scared. And I'm hoping that if you're in the area, you'll stop by.

The two-day concert will be from four to ten o'clock tonight and tomorrow at the Milford High School in an effort to raise money for the Dickey family. It's an unfortunate story that has become common today. Shari Dickey was diagnosed with stage-four breast cancer and her husband, Michael, lost his job. Medical bills are on the rise, and the family has children to support.

The students' lofty goal is to raise more than the nine-thousand dollars that they raised at last year's event to help Chris Cooper, a twelve-year-old Highland Middle School student battling cancer.

The event is featuring local musicians, including Carter Moulton, Cats & the Fiddler, Fighting Lights, Jeff Pianki, Joe Hertler, Kevin Thibodeau, Patrick Gauthier, Rival Summers, and Taylor Robida.
Families can take part in games and sporting events. A silent auction will also be available to help raise funds. Tickets are seven dollars for one day, and ten for both.

Milford High School is at 2380 South Milford Road. Most everyone has been affected by cancer, so I urge you to stop in and listen to the local talent. This is a really great school surrounded by a supportive community. You'll be helping a local family, and hopefully, having a good time. And good news for you, you won't have to chaperon, you can just enjoy the events!

New Year's Resolutions: Cliches and Whatnot

Many people may be huddled around television sets, watching the game and nursing a hangover from last night's revelries. My day is a bit different. I started out by sleeping in and then trudging twenty feet toward the couch to watch three episodes of "The Twilight Zone." Later, I shut off the TV and went to the park to exercise in the "warm" temperatures with my husband, Rob. It's almost four in the afternoon and I have not showered yet.

But, like many, I am also mulling over resolutions. Again, like many, mine are self serving. When asked what I wanted to improve on for the coming year, I responded that I would like to keep my toe nails polished more regularly. My husband's look of sincere sadness said it all. But who out there doesn't have some vain resolution? Of course I have more, and being a cynic, I expect that I will not commit to all of them for long. But it's the effort that counts, right?

Be more organized
Cook healthier meals
Spend less money
Exercise less sporadically
Travel more
Improve my home (it's still pretty bare)
Get enough sleep
Be more patient

In truth, I find that my new year will come in April, when this project comes to a close. With the exception of a couple of vacations, I have volunteered on a weekly basis for about nine months. It's hard to quantify the experiences. But I can say the experiences have added value to my life and pushed me to try new things.

My friend and colleague gave me "The Happiness Project" for Christmas. I am about halfway through, and while I find the author somewhat annoying and self centered, she does have some good advice and I am finding that I, too, am thinking of changes in an effort to ultimately make myself happier. Isn't that what the new year is all about? Reinvention.

"The VALunteer Project" is a gimmick, like many out there. Taking a year to experience something new and hopefully finding something about myself in the process has been written about in several books and movies. If anything, I have learned to appreciate my life more. My experience did not take me to tropical countries, turn me into a chef, or have me contemplating religious institutions. Instead, it has taken me to shelters and parks, walking dogs, and serving food.

At a mere twenty six, I have no authority to dole out advice, but I am finding out that having goals is the key to my own happiness. This year has been full of both good and bad experiences. I have purchased a house with my husband, and learned the responsibility of taking care of a home (OK, to be accurate, we bought it at the end of 2009). I endured a painful end to a waning friendship that had turned sour a couple of years ago, but clinged to it because of unfortunate circumstances. I have enjoyed the best relationship with my parents than I have ever had, and look forward to visits with them.

My real hope this new year, is that I will continue to learn and eke out enjoyment in even the most mundane circumstances. I will aim to surround myself with positive people and learn to accept negative situations. When April rolls around, I will take on a new project for myself. But today, I will enjoy the ending of my holiday vacation. And take a shower.

Freezing My Tush for The Salvation Army

An hour after returning home from my four-hour bell-ringing experience for The Salvation Army, I began to regain feeling in my toes. Despite the warmth, I was still seething with how my experience ended. And to be fair, I'm still not in a great mood.

My afternoon went about as best as can be expected. The first hour went quickly. At that point, I plugged in my iPod. Otis Redding on a frigid evening was a nice start, and my soundtrack shuffled along.

By hour two, I had made two quick stops inside the Kroger doors to warm up. The shuffle on my pod went to classic rock. By the time "Freebird" came on, I was swinging my bell like I was trying to fly away one-handed. I forgot how long that solo lasts.

Hour three was the worst. It dragged on and on. When five-thirty came along, my ghetto "old skool" hip-hop mix thumped through the headphones. Some Juvenile and Outkast had me, no joke, two-steppin' like Julia Stiles in that crappy movie, "Save the Last Dance." If anything, this kept me warm and made many people stare and laugh. That's cool though. My personal philosophy is that it's OK to make a jackass of myself on a daily basis. Score one for me.

Throughout all of this, kind strangers slipped their dollars and change into to the slot of the red kettle.

When I only had fifteen minutes for my shift to end, I was relieved and panicky. What if they don't show? What would I do with this kettle? Five minutes to six, and my relief came. As the paid worker approached, he kindly said, "I came a little early. I thought you might be cold, this being your first time."

He then told me he could take over and directed me to the blue van in the parking lot where the woman who changes the kettles was sitting. As I approached her door, I could tell that she was ticked.

"Hi, um, my relief guy came, so..."

"What are you doing?" she asked. "You still have five minutes on your shift! That's your bucket up there, not his. You go up there and tell him I will be there in five minutes."

Astonished, I turned away and started walking back. I should state that with my chubby cheeks and padded-up getup, I look pretty darn young. Regardless, I was put off by this attitude. The woman started walking behind me, and when she approached, she chewed out the guy for being EARLY!

She went back to get the van and switched the kettles.

At this point, I'd had it. I waited until we were near the van and away from the employee.

"Hi, what's your name," I asked. After her response, "Well, my name is Valerie West, and I work at The Oakland Press, and I write about volunteering."

Sidebar — I have never used this line before. It felt odd and powerful at the same time. I kept thinking, of that line, "With great power comes great responsibility" from "Spider Man."

"I don't want to get anyone in trouble, but I've been volunteering for quite a while, and I have never been spoken to so rudely or scolded like that."

Her face fell, "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to scold you. But I don't like him telling me how to do my job."

"I don't think he was telling you how to do your job. I think he was doing his job and showed up early. I've been out here for four hours. I'm cold. And I'm a volunteer. I don't get paid to do this! And that man was nice enough to come and help out.

She apologized again.

I didn't accept it. When I'm angry, I can be steely. I was not in the mood for forgiveness. I wish that I could be the kind of person who turns the other cheek and doesn't have to have the last word. Perhaps if she had given me some sob story of her life, and why she was so cranky, I could have. But I didn't. Colder than the temperature outside, I repeated, "It's cold. It's been four hours. Have a nice night."

I want to give the benefit of the doubt, and say that this type of behavior is not typical. I would, except that after my last post, another volunteer complained about her experience. I should note that this woman is pretty active in her community.

This was her Facebook post, "I had hands down the WORST experience ever as a bell ringer (if I can even call myself that since I was put through so many... loops of bs) last year. Long story short, I followed instructions, asked questions before to confirm, showed up then, an hour into my time, with no kettle, was told it was all my fault."

What can I say, nine months into this project and right before Christmas, I have a sour taste in my mouth.


I certainly would not want this woman fired for what happened. Instead, I'd like her to enjoy a nice eight-hour stint ringing that bell outside of a Kroger. At the very least, I would hope that she has more respect for the people who take time out of their lives to volunteer for others.

And to all of those wonderful donors who sent me words of encouragement while throwing some coin into the red kettle — thank you.

Ring-ting-aling with the Red Kettle Campaign

In college, a friend and I stood outside of a ShopKo (a Yooper Kmart) and rang bells for The Salvation Army. I think it was only a couple of hours, but I remember that we tried to stay warm by jumping around when customers weren't near us while we butchered the lyrics to Christmas carols.

Now, tomorrow, I will be doing it solo. For four hours. There will be no concert.

This has been a rough year for the Red Kettle campaign. For the Pontiac-area, the donations were down five-thousand dollars from where it was last year, said Major Nate Johnson, last Friday. Usually, the Red Kettle campaign is finished by Christmas, but because donations have been down, it will continue to December 31.

"The Christmas Kettle is our single, largest drive of the year," Nate said, adding that the money helps with holiday items, like food baskets. But it also funds year-round assistance including literacy, senior and after-school programs.

Johnson speculates that part of the reason funds may be down is partly because of the economy and partly because of the weather. It has been a cold one down here, and I wonder if I've brought a little U.P. to Southeastern Michigan. I bought new mittens so that I won't have to spend as much time inside warming up.

This is a critical time for The Salvation Army Nate said, "I don't know when things are going to get better. You hear it's getting better, but we're not seeing it on our end. We hope they remember the Red Kettle this time of year."

I hope you do too. I understand that not everyone can give. If you can't give though, perhaps throw me a smile. I know most people would like to just get in and get out without looking at the person in the red apron, but really, it doesn't hurt my feelings if you have no coin. Being ignored sucks though. 

Besides being a worthy cause, volunteering with the Red Kettle is downright convenient. Compared to many volunteer stints, I didn't have to sign a bunch of documents, provide my Social Security number, or my right leg. OK, I'm exaggerating.

But it was easy, I just visited ringbells.org and filled in the location and time that I desired. Even though donations are down, volunteer help has risen. Nate noted that many athletic teams from Oakland University have helped out, as well as Rochester Schools and the Clarkston United Methodist Church.

So, if you happen to go grocery shopping in White Lake, you might see me ringing a bell from two to six.

Happy Shopping!

Sincerely Flattered

If imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, consider me blushing.

After spending nearly eight months volunteering on a weekly basis for “The VALunteer Project,” (yes, I did take a couple of weeks off during vacation), I see that a competitive online newspaper has assigned reporters to volunteer and then write about the experience. While initially annoyed that my pet project is now being re-written in Ferndale, it’s nothing new. Media outlets scan each others stuff and then rehash it.

For the record, I do not get paid to volunteer or write my blog. I came up with the idea at work and then during a staff meeting, got the semi-cheesy name from our online editor. (Thanks Steve, it’s actually been a hit in the community.)

I go to my day job first, then spend my time volunteering. Sometimes it’s a few hours on a Saturday; other times it’s been after work. It’s a personal journey, and so far, it’s been more than rewarding. Volunteering has helped me more than I have probably helped others. I get to meet cool people, hang out with animals and improve my navigational skills as I maneuver Oakland County’s traffic. Most importantly, I get to share with the community the needs of various groups that do important work to help out.

While I’m not a fan of copycat journalism, I am a fan of volunteering. Though not “court ordered,” can you call it volunteering if it’s an assignment? I’m not sure.

Regardless of my annoyance that my blog idea has been skimmed, how many cooking blogs are out there? How many fashion blogs? Can I even claim originality? Spending time in the community is always a worthwhile cause, and my only hope is that original or imitation, people will be inspired to help out others.

Please, feel free to share your thoughts with me. How do you make your world better? And how can I help out in my community.

Gossip Girls

It was dark and rainy Tuesday night. This is what I hate most about winter — the darkness. I don't even mind the temperature change that much, but when it gets too dark to take walks and bike rides after five o'clock, I feel a bit stir crazy.

That's why volunteering can be such a motivator during the winter — it gets me off of my couch.

So, I headed over to Highland to tutor ESL. Only semi-damp from the run from my car to the building, I met my two regular gal pals. We started to look over the worksheets they had been assigned, but then one of the women left early because she felt ill.

So it was just Helen and me. After reading a newspaper study on the effects of alcoholism, we skipped the grammar lesson and just talked. OK, we gossiped.

Helen told me about her role as a mother-in-law and a daughter-in-law. Though she lives in a large house, she is taking care of extended family members, and that can be stressful. From laundry and housekeeping pet peeves to a mother-in-law that greets her in the driveway, I served as a cathartic receptacle. And I laughed with her.

She also told me about how she met her husband. Not exactly arranged, the marriage was encouraged. And, being a dutiful daughter, she listened to her parents.

Her husband, more than ten years her senior, had lived in the states for quite a while before she met him on a visit to her home. Her family did a "background check," essentially making sure he was a stable match for her. I envision a web of phone calls made from distant cousins and uncles making its way back to Helen's parents. She didn't marry for love, but it seems that she has done alright. She's raised four children, and is still married.

"You have your ups and downs," she says laughing, while making wave motions with her hand.

American marriage statistics are pretty bleak, so I'm not one to judge. I got married much younger than I had anticipated, but more than three years later, I'm still happy with that decision.

More than marriage though, we talked about expectations for women, and how hard it can be — and I don't even have children yet. I think about having a job, taking care of our home and my hobbies, and I know that something will have to give when Rob and I decide to raise children. But I am thankful for the partnership I have with him. Sure, we have our "traditional roles." Ask me about my thoughts on taking out the trash and I'll point to Rob.

Sometimes, I get more out of volunteering than I give. Tuesday was one of those nights.

 

Doing Dishes and Scratching Rashes

Yesterday's tutoring session was cancelled, but last week's proved to be challenging and rewarding.

This time, I worked again with a woman I had met on my first night. She has a hard time speaking, so we looked at pictures in her text book so that she could describe the action.

Household activities were pretty easy for her to describe. Then, she practiced writing sentences afterward. I was surprised by her spelling abilities. She's only been in the country for about three years. While her speaking is coming slowly, her writing seems fairly solid.

We skipped a few chapters ahead, where the photos were not quite as pleasant. Instead of looking at men and women doing the laundry and dishes, we saw characters holding out bloody hands and scratching at rashes. Gross.

This was a bit more awkward, but we stumbled through.

After taking a break, the ladies and I just chatted. I learned that my newest mentee was looking for housekeeping work, but it's not easy when she can't speak. So, I told her that I would look for some positions and see what I could do.

It's my mission this weekend to try and find something for her.

I was also contacted by a woman who does PR, who reminded me about Mango Languages. We had written an article on it a couple of years ago at The Oakland Press. I had checked it out and thought it was pretty cool.

Many local libraries offer the program for free, and for those who are interested in learning a new language, it's worth checking out.

Prison Break

Cinderella chills in the grass.

Hanging with my new pals, Cinderella and Uncle Charlie, proved to be both tiring and gratifying, during a crisp weekday morning. My temporary four-legged friends are animals that I wish I could have, but unfortunately, don't have enough time for. Fortunately, there are volunteer opportunities that allow me to hang with the pooches on a short-term basis.

Before work Wednesday morning, I stopped off at the Oakland County Adoption Center to see what I could help with. When I opened the doors, chaos and a cacophony greeted me. Dogs on leashes were going out and coming in, people were crowding a reception area, and the noise is too jarring to recreate.

This was a little different than what I expected.

After getting a brief orientation and a leash, I got Cinderella, a reddish fawn colored dog of some mixed breed. She was beyond eager to get outside for some playtime. We walked around for a while on the grass near the building, and some defunct looking detention center. I decided to take her to a fairly large-sized fenced in park, and threw some tennis balls for her to fetch. Someone should have taught Cinderella the rules, because I spent most of my time retrieving the ball instead of having them dropped at my feet. Since Cinderella wasn't interested in games, I just ran next to her and gave lots of rubs and "good girls" in my animal voice. You know the voice, thick, syrupy -- the one that's used on babies and drives people nuts.

After about a half-hour, I decided I should give another dog a chance at some freedom. I met another volunteer, Sue, who said she usually walks the dogs for fifteen minutes so that they all get a chance for some fresh air. I figured I made Cinderella's day.

While I enjoy walking the dogs, there does seem to be some disorganization. There is no clipboard or sheet showing which dogs have been walked. So, I asked Sue if she knew what dog I should take, and she suggested Uncle Charlie. This dog is big, black and perhaps a husky, lab mix. At twelve years old, he was much mellower than Cinderella, but proved to be a fun companion.

After another half-hour, I brought him back in. I'm not going to lie, the cages make me sad. Talk about sterile -- there are no blankets or toys in the cages. Instead, the cages are made up of a thick wire bottom so that when the animal goes to the bathroom, a mop can be used to clean up without ever having to open the door. But I do realize the restraints that Oakland County has and what it can provide.

Even more depressing, cats were everywhere in cages, lining the walls. I was told there were more than three hundred, and that some would be euthanized if they couldn't be adopted out. I know some people will rant and rave that I went did not go to a specific "no kill" shelter. But no-kill shelters have a limit on what they take, and so does the county. So, if you know anyone wants a kitten or cat, please stop on by. There were cats of all ages, sizes and colors.

Volunteers are always welcome to walk dogs or pet and comb the cats after submitting a volunteer form. I will surely go back again.

To check it out, visit Oakland County Adoption Center.

What's That Smell?

The headless goose! Below, Jac with some sort of
cord in her hand. Does the beach need to be plugged in?

I've known it for a while, but I am a beach snob.

When I arrived at Metro Beach Saturday morning, I quickly realized that this beach was not made up of the sandy dunes I had enjoyed during my youth; I should've worn my rubber boots. Along the shoreline, thick clumps of some sort of putrid plant growth mingled with inches of muck. The wind was blowing, and with it, the stench of rot.

"Oh my God, what is that smell?" I asked.

And it wouldn't be the last time I would whine about the odor, as my friend Jacquelyn Gutc, patiently waited for me to stop gagging.

We pulled our sweatshirt hoods up over our heads and grabbed some garbage bags. Strolling along the sand, we picked up strewn litter as part of the Adopt-a-Beach day, part of the larger International Coastal Cleanup Day staged by the Ocean Conservancy. In Michigan and three other Great Lakes states, Clean Water Action and The Alliance for the Great Lakes partnered for the project.

When we had found everything that we could along the beach, we started climbing along slabs of concrete riddled with rebar. Clutching to the rocks, I ambled down to the shore and dug out a goose decoy while Jacquelun laughed and took photos of my backside.

"No butt shots," I told her.

"I'm getting a bit of everything."

Other than a bottle of Jack Daniels, a few flip flops and other refuse, the oddest thing I found was the decoy lodged deep beneath the muck. My guess is that it had floated away from someone's lakeside home. The trash had found it's way from fishing boats, homeowners and parkgoers.

Jaquelyn and I were both disgusted by what seemed like needless waste. Was someone so tired during a jog that a water bottle had to be thrown along the rocks, instead of recycled?

While we were happy enough to rock climb, we do wish we had been better prepared for this type of beach. And because we didn't have anything other than our gloved hands to pick up trash, we decided to keep a bit of rebar to use as a way of grabbing more litter. But instead, it ended up in one of the garbage bag, eventually puncturing it. So instead of two half bags full of crap, I was lugging one very heavy bag. I have to give it up to Jac though, when we switched off, she didn't look nearly as winded as I had.

After about an hour and a half, we headed back to the group, and tossed our bag in with the rest. A group of students and other volunteers had collected more than a dozen bags. Looking through some of the items others had found, the biggest find seemed to be a vehicle tire. This garbage breaks down on the shore and goes back into the water.

Our beach captian, Julie Blazejewski of Clean Water Action, said the beaches have been getting worse.

"It's getting trashier," she said, "just in the last two years."

She said it's not just more trash, but the unusual nature of it as well. Her goal with Clean Water Action is to get the word out to people, but with less funding, they've cut back. Now, the goal is to work with politicians to push clean water bills.

This is an event that I plan to attend in the future, but maybe I'll try something in the Port Huron area. In the meantime, I sincerely hope that people will make a better effort to keep our state gems a cleaner, healthier place for the future.

The "Mane" Event

Waterford Township fireman Mike Reiter
assists rider Jeramiah Maguran at a past
OATS "Mane" event.

The sky was gray and murky puddles formed in the mud from the recent downpours that pelted Southeastern Michigan. I had scrambled out of work and arrived at OATS (Offering Alternative Therapy with Smiles) around 4:30 — a half-hour later than I had wanted. A handful of riders were already in the arena on horses. I took over with one, which freed Lynn Daniels up to instruct. The young woman I walked alongside was independent and easy to talk to. I started to relax. It was nice to be away from a cubicle and be near animals and people.

Since I can't make it to the OATS "Mane" Event on Sunday, I wanted to be sure I could at least help out beforehand, because Nancy Heussner, owner of OATS, said volunteers are scarce in the fall.

The event is a once-a-year shindig, starting out with a pancake breakfast. About fifty to sixty riders have registered to take part in the horse show, and spectators are encouraged to partake. Vendors and games will be available as well. All of the riders go home with trophies. The hardware is refurbished — whether it's from a past bowling or baseball championship, Nancy makes it special for the riders.
After about twenty minutes, the second batch of riders arrived. I was matched with a gentleman who was much more nervous than the previous rider. Nancy handled it like a pro, though. She's like a mother — she loves you, but she doesn't put up with crap. When the rider got agitated, she started asking him about dinner, the horse, anything to relax him. When he said he was tired, she reminded him that we hadn't even started yet.

We took the horses and riders to the outdoor arena — the fresh, cool air was refreshing. I was glad I'd grabbed some old shoes, because it was swampy outside. After about an hour, we headed back in, and I watched as more experienced volunteers untacked the horses.

I stayed a bit longer and chatted with Nancy while I attempted to take notes with my now cold, uncooperative fingers, for a small print article. She spoke emotionally about how hard this month has been, and I found myself fighting tears. She talked about how this month reminds her of people who had supported OATS, who are no longer alive. It was hard to watch this rough 'n' tumble woman get emotional. I doubt she told me everything, and who would? I'm still a reporter with a notepad in my hand. What impresses me though, is how she focuses on the riders. No matter what may be happening in her personal life, she keeps it professional for them. It was only once they were gone that it fully started leaking through.

OATS is such a special place, and it's in part, because of Nancy's passion. To learn more about that passion, check out the "Mane" Event, which begins at 8:30 a.m. with a pancake breakfast. followed by the horse show at 9:30 and lunch at 11:30. The event will also feature clowns, music, train rides, games and vendors at Springfield Oaks Park, 12451 Andersonville Road at the Oakland County Fair Grounds. For more information, visit www.oatshrh.org/

Save the Girls!

Patricia Nolf speaks about the PRT.

My alarm started ringing before seven on Saturday morning. After hitting the sleep button three times, I stumbled out of bed.

"I want to pick that thing up and throw it against the wall," I told my husband, who nestled deeper in between the sheets. As a teacher, he wakes up around five in the morning, so I'm betting he was smiling on the inside that I had to get out of bed before him for once.

Even as excited as I was to help out at the Pink Ribbon Trailblazers walk, run and bike event, getting up earlier than I normally do on a weekend did not appeal to me. But as I listened to the oldies on the car radio, my attitude changed.

Forty-five minutes later, I pulled into the library's grassy lawn in Oxford. I was surprised to see it already set up to resemble a Pepto Bismol ad. I had actually arrived five minutes earlier than what I was told. But not to fear, the auction was heating up and there was plenty to do. Donated items of golf gift baskets, fruit, jewelry and even bikes were on display for auction.

The Trailblazers goal is to provide free mammograms for underserved and uninsured women. The raffle and auctions all help raise funds. And in the past three years, the group has raised more than forty-thousand dollars. After helping women sign up for items, and attempting to start bidding wars, the program began.

While there were many survivors at the event, one woman's speech made me stop what I was doing. She spoke about how she had to decide if she was going to make house payments or health insurance payments. She chose her house. And when she got cancer, her twelve treatments of chemotherapy cost seven thousand dollars each.

A few more speeches followed, and then the athletes started stretching for the event. What I love about the Trailblazer event is that it is local. After volunteering in Oxford a few times now, the community involvement is inspiring. Husbands supported wives and women supported each other.

Talking to Patricia Nolf after the event, her enthusiasm is contagious. But it's when she talks about her own battles, that I really admire her efforts. Pat has battled breast cancer, and lung cancer twice, telling me, "It will come back." She states this matter-of-factly. But she doesn't worry about it. Instead, she keeps fighting. And what an inspiration that should be to us all. We may not always have control over our circumstances, but that doesn't mean we give up.

This year's event may be over, but donations are always accepted. Check out Pink Ribbon Trailblazers.

Boxing up Some Meds

Samika Hudson of Pontiac sorts through
medications. The box was so big, we had
to have it flipped so we could get through it.

There's nothing better than really enjoying volunteering, because not all volunteer dates are enjoyable. Gleaners never fails, though.

I popped into the warehouse a little after eight in the morning, and started boxing medications that would be sent to Gleaners partners. I spent most of my time checking labels (something that the food drive in Holly prepared me for) and started boxing them up. This wasn't exactly fast packing. At least two garbages were filled with expired medications in the two hours I packed.

While there, I met Samika Hudson of Pontiac who spends twenty hours a week helping out.

"I like it," she said. "It helps out the community, and I'll do anything for that because I'm a part of it. And the staff is wonderful."

A Rochester Adams student who is acquiring hours for National Honor Society was also helping out. In a different area, mothers brought their children to help pack.

The morning went by pretty quickly and was convenient for me to do before work at the OP. While there, I learned that Gleaners is ramping up its efforts. The Detroit Distribution Center is offering bus tours, so people can see where the food goes and who it helps. From soup kitchens to pantries, visitors will get an up-close look at who Gleaners helps.

Gleaners is also hosting a fundraising breakfast Oct. 14 in Troy.

To learn more about tours, visit www.gcfb.org/bustours, call Denise Leduc at 866-GLEANER ext. 404 or e-mail her at dleduc@gcfb.org. Contact Denise regarding the breakfast as well.

Volunteers Needed at OPC

Marye Miller, Older Persons' Commission executive director, can always use volunteer help. Call 248- 608-0270 to find out how you can help at the next event!

Sashaying Under the Stars in a Moonlit Parking Lot

Kathy Vargas of Rochester Hills got decked out
in party gear for the Island Party.

The moon was full, the air was warm and I was wrapped in the arms of my dance partner, Ralph, when the silky lyrics of Marvin Gaye's "Let's Get it On" started spilling out of the speakers.

"Just loosen up your knees a bit, and try to feel the music," Ralph said as I attempted to sway with him along the asphalt parking lot of the Older Persons' Commission in Rochester.

My evening volunteering at the Island Party, (not Luau), was full of wild costumes, line dancing, and even a blue mermaid. Seniors danced to classic favorites like Elvis and Jimmy Buffet. They rocked out to Funky Cold Medina and the latest hits by Lady Gaga. More than 300 people attended the event, proving the old adage that age truly is a state of mind.

When I arrived on the island, I was pleasantly surprised by the careful detail put into the ambiance. Tables were decorated with candles and leis. A DJ was setting the mood with Beach Boy hits, and well-organized lines of people were loading up on island-themed food of pulled-pork sandwiches, fresh fruits and pastas. I assisted in the food line and helped load up and deliver a plate to one woman who had a bandaged arm. After that, we cleaned the area and served refreshments — a frozen concoction of pineapple, orange and banana mix served with festive umbrellas.

The event was not just a big party though, it was also a way for the OPC to make much-needed money. Because the commission is millage funded, and home values have continued to decline, the OPC has lost hundreds of thousands of dollars. Recently, the community overwhelmingly passed a millage increase — 2,073 to 423 — and that, says OPC Executive Director Marye Miller, says a lot.

"I'm a strong believer in seniors having their own facility," Miller said, adding that even though funds are down, she will not see the OPC lose a program or service. And while many people look at the OPC as a fun place to hang out, it offers more. Medical care is available at the OPC, and the commission offers adult daycare for patients with Alzheimer's disease among many of its programs.

"There's a lot of work to keep older people living with dignity in their home," she said. "The staff is so dedicated, even though they haven't had a raise in three years."

The staff also seems to love what they do. I worked alongside Rhonda Nelson, who coordinated the festivities, as well as Meg Baker, who had contacted me about volunteering. There were more than fifty volunteers at the event. The Rochester Adams High School football team helped set up the tables and chairs during the day and came back to help pick it all back up around nine-thirty that night. The Rochester Junior Woman's Club (yes, it's Woman's) were on hand helping from set-up to serving food.

The OPC is unlike any senior facility I have visited. It's a whole hip community. Women wore thigh-high skirts, and sparkly heels as they sauntered in the conga line.

"Yes, that's sexy! I like that!" the Austin Power-like DJ crooned out as men and women dipped and bended to get under the bamboo pole.

As the sun settled in for the night, I took my turn on the sidelines, and watched Ralph dance with another woman as other couples held each other tight, and I thought about how lucky I was to be a part of it all.

The Older Persons' Commission is always looking for volunteers for it's services and events. Check out the website at http://www.opcseniorcenter.org/

Grass Skirts and Coconut Bras

Things seem to be gelling lately, and, for that, I am thankful.

While I usually scramble to get volunteer gigs scheduled, people started calling me for once. One of those calls is sending me to the Older Persons' Commission in Rochester for a Hawaiian Luau (is there any other kind?) tonight. I'm going to help with whatever they need, from refreshments to clean up.

I have been to the OPC only once — and that was on assignment. I've never seen a center like this; it's larger than most high schools. Couples in matching track suits played pickleball and jammed to The Beatles. Men lounged on fun noodles in the heated pool while a water aerobics class took place in the larger adjacent pool. The OPC is the mecca of fitness centers, with gyms rivaling the best of college facilities. There are cafes, language labs, and art classes, too.

The only problem with this amazing gym: I'm too young to join. Nowhere will you see women in sports bras and spandex racing along a treadmill gasping for air, or men grunting as they lift weights the size of a car. This is for seniors only. One man told me attending the center has given him purpose. It's the new town cafe, only the patrons lift dumbbells and coffee mugs all while sporting the latest Adidas.

And of course, the center throws soirees. I'm excited to hang out with the oldsters and chat with them.  I use this term affectionately — oldsters are like the classic roadster, it's had some miles on it, the styling may not be the same as newer models, but if the recent Woodward Dream Cruise is any indication, it's well worth admiring.

Aloha!

Giving up the Booty

The Motor City Mad Men (right) stand by some of their donations. Rob (below) hands out a voucher, while Yvette Saylor sorts.

While many people may have spent their Sunday morning on wooden pews or reading the Times with a cup of coffee, my husband Rob and I were surrounded by wenches, maidens, knights and even fairies.

No, we weren't watching the SciFi Channel, we were at the Renaissance Festival in Holly.

"Oh my God," Rob said. "They're in costume."

My husband, though a fan of "Lord of the Rings," is not a fan of dress up. He'll watch any team throw or catch a ball, but watching men in tights, he'll pass: "I hate you."

I have to admit, the Ren Fest isn't exactly a place that I get geared up to visit. I don't read or watch fantasy-type books or movies. I felt like I had entered the set of "Role Models" minus the surly Paul Rudd character.

But we weren't there to hang out and watch jousting matches, we were there to help Lighthouse of Oakland County for its annual food drive. Lighthouse of Oakland County, Inc. provides services to low-income families in order to assist people in becoming self-sufficient. Last year, Lighthouse helped families and individuals on 70,000 occasions. This includes not only providing food, but even emergency funds among other things.

The story remains the same: The poor economy is affecting everyone.

"We are seeing a lot more need," said Holly Ellis, manager of Housing and Wrap-Around Services. "And the need is from people who we wouldn't normally see."

Because it's summer, donations are also down. Before this drive, the pantry was near bare, Ellis said, adding that this food will last only until Thanksgiving.

As we frantically sorted, packaged, and labeled boxes for three and a half hours, we met a lot of people who wanted to give back. It's beyond a great deal to donate the nonperishable goods. Four items will get patrons a voucher for a buy-one-get-one ticket; essentially a free ticket worth about twenty dollars. This deal continues through the weekends until Labor Day.

While there, I worked alongside Yvette Saylor of Clarkston. A true volunteer, Yvette spent thirteen and a half hours this weekend at the food drive. She was a great leader and teammate, helping me locate expiration dates on food items. Yvette helps out at a variety of places, including schools and senior centers. She chose to help out this weekend because it helps those in need she said, adding "And it makes me more grounded in life."

At one point, after stepping away to interview Holly, I came back to a table full of items dropped off by about forty bikers — the Waterford Motor City Mad Men. It took us nearly a half-hour to get all of the food sorted and packed just from that one drop off.

Despite the fact that we worked nearly nonstop, I don't even know if I could call this Sunday's endeavor true volunteering. Both Rob and I were given free tickets to go to the festival, along with food vouchers — and the food is tasty! We were able to wander the booths, see jugglers and get transported to another world, all for a few hours worth of work.

Volunteers are still needed for the upcoming food drives. And for those who love the Renaissance Festival, it's an amazing incentive to work a few hours to get a free ticket to partake in the fun. Lighthouse has plenty of other opportunities available as well, and it can always use donations.

To learn more, visit http://www.lighthouseoakland.org/
To volunteer, call Tricia Pulis at 248-920-6000.

Lead Me to the Horses

Lynn Daniels and O.A.T.S. Founder Nancy Heussner in front of a pasture.

As I pulled up to the barn at O.A.T.S. (Offering Alternative Therapy with Smiles) I was greeted by Nancy Heussner as she finished instructing another volunteer. Wearing shorts and a sweatshirt, Nancy is a very fit and enthusiastic woman who clearly loves what she does. Her barn and arenas are clean and cheerful. Bunches of yellow and purple flowers are planted on either side of the barn door. As she led me around the grounds, she talked to me about the program.

O.A.T.S. provides year round equine-assisted therapy on a weekly basis to more than one-hundred children and adults with a wide variety of physical and/or emotional disabilities. The group relies heavily on volunteer participation. Like most volunteer gigs, I had to sign a waiver.

"But if you get hurt, we just bury you in the back," Nancy said with a laugh. It was funny the first time, but I started to worry after she said it a third time. Just in case, I assured her that my husband has fantastic health care so she should do whatever it takes if I get injured! I soon learned that I had nothing to fear. We started the day by feeding the horses. As we walked past a long row of stalls, she opened an electric door. But before she opened the gate, she yelled, "Stay up on the ramp."

I hopped up and was soon glad for the warning. Large horses of all breed and size barreled past me eager to get to their feed. It never ceases to amaze me how smart animals are — the horses have their own stalls and they all seemed to know where to go. After we locked each stall for them to eat, we took a ranger vehicle out to the pasture to spread hay for the animals. This is where I learned that Nancy also attended Northern Michigan University — it was an instant bond.

Most of these horses are older, and because they are prone to arthritis they spend much of their time outdoors. On this breezy summer day, I couldn't imagine a better place. While we were feeding the horses, a perky 19-year-old blonde joined us and took over my tutelage. Lynn Daniels of Clarkston has been working with O.A.T.S. for years, and she loves what she does.

"The best thing about this is just watching how the kids progress and how it benefits them," she said. "You accomplish the impossible."

During her tenure, she said she has seen children who initially hide in the car and refuse to talk learn to ride independently.

"Some people will tell us that the kids are nonverbal. Fine, but that doesn't mean we aren't going to talk to them."

It's hard to imagine Lynn at a loss of words — this coming from yours truly, the queen of motor mouths. Bubbly may be the best way to describe Lynn, and I can't imagine a more suited personality to help children with disabilities. In some cases, she said the children do end up talking. She's also seen parents who were told that their children would never walk, do just that.

O.A.T.S. offers both riding lessons and extended day camps. Nobody is treated differently here. Riding the horses helps the riders improve balance, flexibility, muscle strength and tone. The program also strives to develop communication, listening and attention skills as well as building confidence and self esteem.

Nancy only has two part-time employees. The rest are all volunteers. Work never lacks at O.A.T.S. After feeding horses, I mucked stalls — though really I just had to scoop poop. I also helped sweep part of the barn where the horses had tracked in mud. Tomorrow, I plan on actually meeting the kids and leading them on the horses. I'm excited to meet the children and see what O.A.T.S. is really about. So far, I'm impressed. Horse enthusiasts should check out the organization to get their daily dose of O.A.T.S.

To learn more about O.A.T.S., visit http://www.oatshrh.org/.

Red sky in Morning — You Know the Rest

Volunteers James Helmuth (back row, from left), Kayla Varney, Alyssa McFall, Carla Smith, Kara Brook, Rob Hamilton, Jack Toliver and Carol Ralston (front row, from left) and Darlene Toliver.

Rob and I were greeted with a brilliant, golden-red sunrise Saturday morning at the early hour of 5 o'clock. We reluctantly got up and started to pack for our day volunteering for the Rural Pearl Scenic Bike Tour.

Before we left, we checked the online weather radar, which didn't add to our enthusiasm. The screen showed a huge green mass making its way to our area. The old saying, "Red sky in morning, sailors take warning" made its way to my lips.

Despite the weather warnings, we grabbed some rain gear and headed to Oxford.

Like most events, this was just a bit disorganized as we waited for everyone to arrive. But soon enough we were unloading supplies. Rob and I started cutting up bananas and filling bowls with fruit for the hungry riders. Then, we stuffed the goodie bags with magazines and maps as sprinkles dropped onto our heads, making the cardboard boxes mushy.

Though the weather did not look promising, many riders were still coming out -- more surprising was the amount of riders taking on the challenge of 48 miles. Luckily, during our three-hour stint, the rain had held off.

Money raised from the tour goes to help fund programs for the The Oxford /Addison Youth Assistance. A variety of programs are offered, including one-on-one mentoring, parenting classes and a youth summer garden.

Darlene Toliver, secretary for the organization, looks every bit as sweet and kind as a grandmother could be, and she is.

Three years ago, her granddaughter was having difficulties dealing with her parent's divorce, and she began acting out. She was directed to the youth assistance, and now at 12 is an honor student.

"Three years ago we were having problems," she said. "And now, she's turned her life around. I feel like I'm helping give back because of my grandchild, but I think I would've done it anyway.

"I've been very lucky," she added. "We've been here for thirty years, and it feels good to give back."

In between registering riders, she chats with the other volunteers. One, Carla Smith of Oxford, who also wanted to give back to her community as well as meet new people. There were also a lot of teenagers helping out — the volleyball team, and a young student who was applying for National Honor Society.

Rob and I also had the benefit of meeting some bike enthusiasts, who encouraged our own love of the sport and gave us helpful hints. Now, we're excited for next year, because we want to ride. For this evening though, I will settle on twenty miles in my new, snug bike shorts.

To learn more about youth assistance programs offered in the Oakland County area, visit http://www.oakgov.com/circuit/division_committee/local-ya-offices.html

Rising before dawn

Tomorrow will be a day of endurance and determination -- just not for me. Along with my husband, I will volunteer at the Rural Pearl Scenic Bike Tour. The tour raises funds to help local youths by sending kids to camp and providing them with skill-building opportunities.

Bikers can take on 15, 38 or 48 miles along the trail.

I love to bike, but I've never been in anything like this. Rob and I will be calling it an early night; we have to be up by 5 a.m. in order to get to Oxford at 6:30. I'm not thrilled to leave the house before the sun makes it's way to my window, but it sounds like a cool event. We're going to help with set up, registration and water breaks.

Serious naptime will be in order tomorrow when we get back!

Hopefully, the rains that have been pounding our area will subside. Have a great weekend out there and do some good!

Yay for Vacays!

Lounging on the shores of Lake Michigan, hitting the pavement with my new bike and taking a hike through a wet forest were just some of the things I did on my short vacation in Northern Michigan to visit friends and family.

It's my week off from volunteering and a bit of time off from work. I've enjoyed a few days without a computer and cell phone. It was a busy four-day weekend, and though I'm back to being a cubicle rat, it's only a short week. The time away was needed, but I can't lie, I'm already looking forward to a full week in August.

While I was taking advantage of the northern wooded landscape, many vacationers took time off to help others on volunteer vacations. Some go with churches on two-week mission trips, while others sign up with companies or touring businesses.

Type "volunteer vacations" in Google, and nearly a half-million websites pop up. Volunteer vacations, or service trips, almost always cost money. Volunteers can sign up for a couple of weeks to a couple of months either in the U.S. or abroad. Whether it's teaching English, building schools or gardening, there seems to be options for just about everyone.

I've heard and read positive and negative comments about volunteer vacations. Some think companies don't really aim to help the people, but rather push their own agendas while collecting tourist dollars. Others chime in that giving up two weeks is just a way to feel like a "do gooder." Yet, others have personally told me how enriched they feel by going on such trips.

I've written stories on high school students who gave up spring break to make a difference — one group that went to New Orleans after the hurricanes. I am thoroughly impressed when teenagers choose to do something constructive with their time off, rather than partying in Palm Springs. My generation may get flack for being technology obsessed and self-absorbed, but there's a large portion making the world a better place.

I've often thought that taking a service trip vacation would be a good option for my husband, but as of now, I don't get a lot of time off of work to do this, and we don't have the funding either. But hopefully, in the future, we will be able to see a different part of the world while making it a little bit better.